Holly Crap I feel like I am going to burst! I haven’t written since the 14th and there are words and thought inside of me that need to come out before I explode. Yet, guess what? I seem to have writer’s block!! ARGH! Where do I start and how do I make a coherent sentence?
I want to write about turning ‘IT’ over to a God of my own understanding, my mortality, how watching ‘A Field of Dream’ affected me, etc. but where do I start?
There is no starting place. I started this Blog on 11/26 and here it is 12/3 and still no further along. So I will leave all the ‘looks good’ shit out and just mind dump. Hang on and keep your hands and arms in the ride at all times, just teasing there may be no excitement just the mind dump.
The more I get out of the way and let God rule my life the smoother it gets. Last night my youngest daughter got really upset with me about talking to her mother about a Christmas present she wanted me to by her mother. She was upset and I was upset being scolded by my daughter, how dare she talk to me that way. I was hurt and upset and didn’t know what to do except to say “God I don’t know what to do can you please help me?” I sort of let it go I didn’t call her up and correct her for talking to her father is such a disrespectful way. Within a few minutes she text me saying she was sorry for hurting my feeling. Oh my gaud you could have knocked me over with a feather, I could never have demanded and received that type of love and respect. This left the door open for me to see how I had hurt her and to make amends for my part. We exchanged our love for each other and other things in our lives. I love that girl so much!
Today my boss was sharing about when he worked for Bill Graham who was a big promoter for groups like Country Joe and the Fish, Jefferson Airplane and the like. This caused me to go to Youtube and listen to the Viet Nam song by Country Joe and the Fish and did it ever hit me hard.
I was a teen ager in the 60’s and pretty much had Hippie leanings but was not a dyed in the wool one. Family pressure caused me to be a consertive-hippie. Talk about a person who doesn’t know who he is or where to turn. Today in hind sight I should have been true to my Hippie leanings. Today people call me the Old Hippie because that is just what naturally comes out. I believe is social justice, human rights, love is more powerful than might and there is an all powerful Spirit of the Universe – GOD. Don’t get me wrong, I spiritual not religious and don’t like organized religions but realize that I was raised LDS-Mormon and those value have colored my ways of seeing the world. I used to try to hide that fact and say I used to be a Mormon. Today that doesn’t matter because that is one of those things I can’t change. If I drop my membership that would not change that I was raised Mormon. So today why bother trying to look good in someone else’s eyse? If someone doesn’t like me because I am a Mormon or more correctly a Jack Mormon that is out of my control and if I tried to change that, I would be untrue to my Hippie soul.
I still struggle with the concept of Jesus being the only begotten Son of God. To me he was a great person who was the ultimate Hippie. I feel that were he here today he would not want to be considered the Only Begotten. That being said, I don’t really know because I don’t know what God is, I just know that God Is. For me if asked what God is to me I say the Cosmic Muffin.
Enough for today.
Thy will not mine be done.
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