September 19, 2012

Today is another day. I put together a team building email each day in it I have the word of the day and the thought of the day.  Will here is todays:

Thought for the Day

Doubt is a pain too lonely
to know that faith is his twin brother.

Khalil Gibran
(1883-1931)

Wholly crap!! I don’t understand it but inside I feel the pain and with yesterday rant am wondering if it is related. This morning I prayed about what I have been going though and asked for guidance and this is what I get. Go figure. And people say that God doesn’t directly answer prayers.

No shit I have MUCH doubt mostly about myself that I don’t openly share with other even though most likely they can see it more clearly than I. I doubt that

·         my wife like me

·         I am doing a good job a work

·         that I will ever be without pain

·         that I know anything of value

·         and on and on and on

Yet for some reason, I know there is something that I call God, don’t what it is.

Now for something completely different.

I completed my agreement as an Introduction Leader for Landmark Education. What I realized is that I didn’t want to change the world, I just want my world to change and it did. My wife, Nancy, and I have a very good relationship today. And I only look at it as today, for tomorrow who know what will happen. With that I have come to realize that what I wanted in a relationship was someone I could love. I may have said that before but I was always looking at greener pastures over there and not looking in my own back yard. Today when I look at those greener pastures I appreciate them for their beauty and then realize just how fortunate I am to even have a relationship at all and it is with a woman who is smart, good looking and laughs at my jokes. And that is not to say just how comfortable I am just to be around her. Just the other day she said that with our relationship going so well, she keep looking over her shoulder for the other shoe to fall. That is a trust issue that I still have to earn from her. I don’t spend a whole lot of time trying to earn it, but rather focus on the moment and enjoying that. Pretty sweet.